I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
We had to coat check the pizza.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
