it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
