I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
