I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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