I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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