You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
