I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
