That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Randomize
