you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize