its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
