dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
