I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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