dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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