Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
