The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
