4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
