You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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