Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
