The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
