Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
