Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
