Where are you?
In a non slutty way
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I FOUND THE LEGS
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
