Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He shit in the fireplace
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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