You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Four minutes until I can fart!
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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