i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
