its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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