my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
did i walk over a car last night?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
