life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
