what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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