Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
it glows. i had to have it.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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