and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
