A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
