I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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