some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
