he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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