i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
