when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
