I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
