she kept yelling 'call me bella'
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize