So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
