what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
