i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
