Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
