I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
