So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
