You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
too bad you live with your parents still
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
