i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
The best revenge is premature balding
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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