ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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