Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
