Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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