you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Help. Why am I so naked?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
