Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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