FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
