I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
