Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
