Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
