ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
