Ambien. No doubt about it.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
