I just pynch a tree in the face
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
