WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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