Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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