Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
No more Irish car bombs ever.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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